Is thinking free? The whole thought process, what’s it going to cost? Sometimes we think about a purchase, some small such as a new pair of jeans and some much bigger in terms of monetary value perhaps a new car or a new house …..expensive!

Thoughts can also cost us from an emotional perspective too. I know I can feel so shit if I have a disagreement with any of my children, if it’s not ended well I can guarantee I will pay the price. How busy is your brain? Mine is like a washing machine stuck on a spin cycle. I question everything. Am I working hard enough in the gym, am I lifting enough weights, I could lift more, I could run faster, am I eating the right macros, am I drinking too much coffee! I have 5 children, am I giving them enough of my time, I have 4 boys and 1 daughter, am I spending enough time with her? The list is endless and it spins around in my head nonstop. I was going to sleep the other night and this question popped up in my mind ‘Is thinking free?’ What is the price of the thought process? I could not sleep, this question has plagued me eversince.

I’m not even touching on the millions of other thoughts that go through my head when you look at the UK let alone the world.

Daily life, getting to school, getting to College, getting school uniform ready, football kit, rugby kit, home work in and then the clubs after school….. more rugby, swimming, martial arts and YES I signed up for this 100% but do you know when you become a parent I don’t think anything prepares you for the life long commitment. I mean you know you are having a child and hopefully that is a life long commitment and you get through the early years and go through the worry of cot death, illnesses, weaning and those early years are so precious you look back and wish you could have bottled those baby moments. You look back and those early years seem like a doddle but then I did have 5, again completely my choice and it is amazing and you have to take those pockets of amazingness and hold onto them. At times I feel so completely overwhelmed. I mean even getting children up in the morning can become a war zone. How many times you ask a child to get up and dressed! When they are younger you get the hugs and the love then they grow and the affection becomes a fist pump or a nod of the head and that becomes the new norm the new show of affection. They grow up and away which is as it should be. They know you are there if they need you but you become more of an on call parent.

I started writing this as it was intended to ask the question ‘Is thinking free?’ and I always divert. I start writing and it turns into a download of a whole load of thoughts that are going around in my head.

Each one of us was created, isn’t that a miracle in itself. We all have purpose. I know my life is centred massively around my family to which I am completely unapologetic for but the other side of me strives for something else. I absolutely love writing. Years ago I was in the Navy, when I left I moved to fitness and personal training which is my obsession and mental release. I then moved into civil engineering and construction and in the background that’s what I’ve done. I flit and go from here to there but through it all I am clear in my head to navigate through my chaotic life and create something unique. We should never feel done, it’s our experiences that drive us forward and the hard times that give us the strength and determination to see us through and keep powering forward. Sometimes I write and it all makes sense and even at times very occasionally can be quite professional but most of the time I write and some would say it’s scatty but you know what, I feel so much better for getting it out there and no one has to read it but if any of it connects with anyone on a level then I’d say that’s a result. We are all human and you never really know what anyone is going through. You can meet the happiest of people on the surface but you never know what’s going on underneath. I absolutely love the saying ‘Be a good human’ Sounds so simple and really it is so let’s follow it up with the Nike slogan ‘Just do it’ perfect.

Thanks for reading

Rebecca