Do we need time? Time to get somewhere, time with a person, time to heal. What time is it? Breakfast time, lunch time, quiet time, bedtime. Do we have time? Time to get somewhere, time to think, time to have space from someone with no guarantee that they or you will be there tomorrow. We are all on a timer from the moment we are born. How long we have we do not know. We get so caught up on what we are doing tomorrow or the next day, this month that month. Commercially it’s Christmas, Valentine’s day, Easter, Mother’s day, Father’s day and all the other events in between. There is a day for just about anything. The month soon goes by the seasons fly and we’re planning for this day and that day, weddings come and go. Christening’s then before you know it we are flat lining….. How irrelevant is time then? Do we cross over to an alternative time zone.
When things are going so well or we’re having fun how quickly does time seem to fly by. On the other hand when we are not in such a great place it feels like life is on pause. The last 4 weeks for me has gone by so slowly, so painfully and I am thinking about getting through the rest of the year and into a new beginning. They say time is a healer and I believe that to be very true. We loose people and wonder how we can get through the day, how we survive pain, trauma and loss but our resilience gets us through. Our instinct to survive. The days go by, maybe the months and the pain eases and things get a little easier. We find coping mechanisms some I see as a negative such as alcohol or drugs but there are really positive ones too like exercise, running, hitting the gym, usually for me it’s mix and match. Sometimes a drink takes the edge off but most of the time it’s the gym. Even if I don’t want to go I have to have an entire conversation with myself to get in there but I know half way through I’m so glad I did. Living in the moment is great but we like to look back on memories, we reflect on good times and what we took from the not so great ones. We look to the future and sometimes can’t wait to be in a better place but sometimes trying to sit with the discomfort and be uncomfortably comfortable can bring it’s own unusual peace. Allowing ourselves to feel the sadness and sometimes just letting the tears flow. I always used to stop myself crying. I thought for some strange reason if I could learn to control crying it would make me a better person but lately I have allowed myself to cry with no timer and it is healing. Don’t get me wrong I do have a conversation with myself and encourage myself to overcome the sadness and motivate myself to move forward but I take in the not so good times and sit with them and enjoy the pockets of good things that happen in a day. Even if it’s 5 minutes here and there any positive experience, thought, conversation just hold onto it, it’s those little pockets of happiness that can get you through the day.
Accountable Communication 